the family gets larger

The mayfield fam contains several more members :

Godfather Mark : known for his tough leather jackets and rattleskin cowboy boots, Grandfather Mark speaks softly but carries a big stick.  It is rumored that his chinchilla is not a household pet, but actually used to “forcefully persuade” business associates.  However, make a reference to Bowie’s “Labrynth” and Godfather Mark will open up to anyone.

Sister Kayser : Raised in Texas, Sister Kayser has spent her high school years in piety at the local Catholic school.  Her calm exterior actually hides the secret that she is actually a joo.  Her sisters have yet to notice, though comment that “it’s strange that for Halloween she chose to dress up as a yellow rodent.”  Some people just don’t get it.

Great-great-great-great-great-great aunt Siri Cullen: After bitch slapping Bella, drop kicking, grandfather Karim style, her abomination of a baby into a dumpster and seducing Edward into biting her with her promiscuously curved Indian body, Siri has officially become a vampire. Though rumors have spread that Siri soon realized Edward wasn’t the type of man she truly imagined (it turns out he’s more like Cedric, but don’t get that started with Siri), and ditched him. She kept his last name to show the multitudes of fan girls that Edward went brown and won’t ever be able to go back to dumb emo white chicks.  Nevertheless, because her ungodly marriage was perceived by her sister Q as a  betrayal of her family values, Siri was disowned by the family.  There were also rumors of a dispute between Siri and her sister about their respective titles of Indian Princess and Queen of the Universe.  Since she is Indian, Siri does not like the “vegetarian diet” of the Cullens’ and has found that Instant Ramen Cup noodles is able to quench her thirst for human red blood cells. She can be found making ocasional treks to the Mayfield house to pilfer their ramen reserves. Though she is rarely seen in the day, occasionally you can lure her out of her lab to sparkle if you give her the right incentive.

A new day

Dear world,

Welcome!  This blog is a slice of life in the mayfield family. Here are the characters :

Mom : Mrs. Holt, hailing from the Bayou’s of Louisiana Mama Holt holds down the fort with her hospitable and kind words, while providing brown bag lunches for the boys.

Dad : Mr. Holt, this fun loving gentle giant spoils his kids with PS3 games, but works hard to keep the food on the table. Has been known to get a little crazy drinking that good ‘ol fashioned moonshine.

Twins: Mr. Holt and his lovely Asian (Ajun) Cajun wife gave birth to two of the most joyous souls you ever did see, though fraternal you could never tell the difference between these two shinning jewels. Lil Stace pulls from her father’s supposed latino roots spouting off bits of attitude that would make any one this side of the Mississippi blush, and, of course Wern, also known as Vern to his sis. Though Vern’s appearance mirrors that of his mother, he longs to become one with the desert and eventually become the greatest luchador in the world.

Cousin Frankie : typical wacky cousin. needs to play handball less, keeps on hurting his body.

Uncle Dong : Gave his son the first name “long.”  Wishes he could make sushi for his suitemates more often.

Grandfather Karim : Known to play street soccer on the streets of New Orleans, Karim is the quiet and strong presence in the family. One day Karim will rule Tunisia with his iron fist of justice. He also likes carrots.

Big Burly Uncle Joe: Known to close down all you can eat Chinese buffets because he ate them out of all their food causing a huge mob of angry patrons to overrun and destroy the store in rage. He likes quiet nights soaking while sipping on his favorite drink: Mike’s Hard Lemonade Pomegranate.

Great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother Q:  A sinister figure who is rarely seen to exit her heavily guarded fortress, except to strike fear in the hearts of distant relatives, small children, and chinchillas.  She is rumored to have once been a great queen or have known somebody named Queen who crafted her leather garb or had affairs with the Princes of the Universe.  We are unsure.  No one knows her real name or her sordid past in Sin City.

More later…